OH YES!I have my own dream world, I have made few fictional characters around me who play, love and adore me for what I am. I love those characters because they don’t treat me as their mood and convenience, they never promised me to be by my side and left when I needed them. You feel its funny to dream? Well that’s your call and choice and I’m in no mood today to explain you why shouldn’t you call that funny 🙂
Have you ever been into any such phase of life where you are mistreated just because you can’t flaunt your knowledge like all other teenagers does at this age?
Where you are been sandwiched between your own dreams and your family’s expectations?
Where you are constantly judged and presumptions are been made for you? Limitations are been set for you? People decide on behalf you whether you will able to complete this task or not..Have been into any such dilemma where you know your heart is not ready for this but you do it because your family gets back their smile by that single step of yours.
I have been there! Faced it and still standing strong with a glowing smile on my face.
Friends?? well, Yes i had many, I use to call myself lucky till the time I was encountered by the reality!
I had always given my best to make them smile, from sharing their secret crushes to their first love making they have shared wid me about EVERYTHING! N when I needed them back in the same manner like they needed me some years back I was shown nothing but the prioritize chart they have made for their loved ones where I didn’t even existed..
I forgave! Because I believed time heals it all.. I moved on n made myself an introvert. People couldn’t spare me there and they decided to tag me as arrogant rude and mean. I chose to ignore them as well.. As i believed, dog barks and and you dont have to bark back at them.. I let them bark!
I looked forward for a better life, where I could breathe freely with my own dreams but people called me selfish.. As they thought, I should think of my family and society first.They have given me so much till now… I smiled and preferred to step back.
Society again questioned my intentions and said -your family has done so much for you gal? What have you given them in return.. Earn Big! Dream Big! and prove your capabilities! Money was never my priority and people around me questioned my thinking again. I kept mum like always.
I was never asked what did I wanted from my life, what did I wanted to be. no one was even bothered about it.
I read! I wrote! I scribbled!
I read and made myself believe again that goodness is rewarded always! Reading has always been my source of motivation… I wrote, Because i wasn’t allowed to speak.. whatever I felt, I preferred to write.. Write my heart out not for anyone but for my own self.. I was tired to giving justifications to everyone around me who didn’t bother to believe my intentions n notions.
I came out of the shell and worked hard to make people know my worth… I hated that! I did because I was told to do so.
I wanted to make my own identity. I wanted to be known by own work. I know I wasn’t expecting more from my life.. I just wanted to prove my worth.. I wasn’t wrong.
I was judged here again, I was been tagged as rapacious.. People fought with me and gossiped about me as much as they could.. And I still being an observor learnt a lesson and took my way ahead.. The same phase where I needed my old buddies to hold me and support me like I have been doing since years, I was left alone because they thought I was a known name now! I might not need them, I silently saw them walking out of my life I remained silent as always.. I didnt even tried to stop them, because I believe those who love you truly will stay by you no matter what!
I smiled at them and ignored with what they spoke about me in public. I wasn’t hurt anymore.. As i have been listening to such words since long.. May be I was used to it..
And If dreaming gives me back my smile.. If dreaming provides me with the positive aura that I need to sustain here among so called knowledgeable and judgmental people..Yes I’m a dreamer! N I’m proud of my dreams
– Nehali Lalwani